i wish you knew how i felt, how you make me feel,

sometimes i wonder if you ever feel, if you have a heart,

i wish every word you spew broke the way it breaks me,

you treat me like i’m an object, one you can break any time and throw money at to fix it,

but that’s just a temporary fix, one that fades away when i sit, alone and all the words you’ve said cloud my thoughts,

in your eyes i’ve never been good enough, i’ve never done no right,

in your eyes i’ve never been human, all i’ve ever been was less important than you, less human than you are,

to you when i try explain things to you i’m nothing but stupid, i’m nothing but on drugs because no i cannot talk sense because you are older and know the way of life,

i’m told to brush it off, that you don’t mean any of the things you say or do, that it’s just the alcohol talking and not you,

but i can’t, i can’t just brush it off any of it,

i want you to know something though,

i remember,

i remember everything you’ve ever done to my mother,

i remember when you wanted to throw me into that dam because i wouldn’t tell you were she was,

i remember,

i remember all those times you’d chase me away and tell me you’re not my father,

i remember when you told me i’m nothing, nothing without you,

i remember when you raised your hands and laid them on us,

i remember,

all i wish for though, is for my brother to never be like you, to never hear you utter those words to him or his mother,

i wish he has a better life growing up than i did,

all i can do is wish.


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