Day 11: Your current relationship; If single discuss

I’ve been dreading writing this, but hey I have a challenge to complete.
So, my current relationship, hehe, I’m single. I’ve been single for well over year now. My previous girlfriend broke up with me because I didn’t reciprocate the efforts and love she put into our relationship, though I tried my best and wished it was communicated to me that I was slacking. Anyway, we’re here now…and I’m single.
I attempted to move on a couple of times but I’m either too slow, too picky or my baggage is too much to carry. In those times I tried to move on, there’s one who somewhat took my heart by the balls. I fell for her hard and thought or rather felt like she too had fallen. We hung out a lot, and before we went far I decided to unpack my baggage, it wasn’t a lot but one and it scared her off. She instantly switched from wanting to be in a relationship with me to just having me as a friend. In all the times I tried to move on she was the only one I had let into my bubble, close enough to touch my heart and it’s hard to move on from that, as her prints are still on my heart. Oh well, that went up in flames.
I ended up trying to rise from the fire like a phoenix but eish it’s hard, I had met someone who I had a good time getting to know, a bit of a nerd but I was too slow for her. She wanted me to just jump into a relationship with her but I could do that. I don’t if it was because she let me hit (her idea, she initiated it) the second time we hung out or not. I don’t know if she felt like us having been together was equals to us getting to know each other fully. I kept on asking her out on lunch dates and all so I could get to know her fully but she kept making up excuses for not meeting up with me. Ignored my calls but had the strength to ask me what we were after refusing me a chance to get to know her fully. I then proceeded to stop trying to make contact with someone who didn’t want me to get to know her but wanted an instant relationship.
Sigh, now I’m here. in my little corner, chatting to people, or rather one person who I hope will accept me as I am. Oh, and I have my friends bugging me to date this friend of mine who they feel would be the best person for me, but I can’t do that because I don’t want to gamble with our friendship it’s too precious to me and either way I don’t know if she’d want to date me. I love her though, a lot. She knows me better than most people and ain’t never turned her back against me when I unpack my baggage.
Okay, that was a mouth full.  🙂

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